What is it?

 

Is it true feelings for you or low self confidence why I back down?
Is it that though it tears me up inside, the thought of you being happy with her is enough to make me fight this battle that rages within?
I know that I can make you happy but the thing is she was there first so whether I like it or not, it is what it is
I wish something would let you see me as the one you would like to build a relationship with that would last awhile and maybe produce a few kids.

But then I think how sad she would be and then I remember that I am strong enough to handle the pain of not having you but I don’t know if she could
Who does that anyhow? Who sits and writhe with pain?
Who allows you to sleep with her and not allow herself to fully let go for the fear of her not being able to let you go?
Who remembers every little thing and smiles because all she sees is the youth you were evolve into the man you have become?

She is me and I am her
The one that let’s you in and shuts out screams of ecstasy and joy because the little boy that is now a man has come back to bring out the little girl trapped in this woman….
What is it? Who am I? How can the devil in me persuade me to be a bitch? While the angel of light still riles my conscious being?
What is it? Happiness and guilt mixed…
The little girl trapped in the woman is fighting strong feelings for the boy that has evolved into the man. What is it? The beginning or the end? The beginning of the end and the end of a beginning that started with a kiss and will end in a shattered heart.
Though I think I am woman enough to manage….the truth is the little girl has a heart of glass that she knows is about to be broken by the boy that has evolved into a man. And it is what it is.

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